Polite Society

We are taught from a young age how to behave in polite society. We create a dual image that allows us to present our "respectable" face to the world, and come home and relate to our family, friends, and community in a way that is natural and without pretense.

We code-switch for your comfort and for our survival, because we are taught that our colloquialisms are not ok for polite society.

In polite society there is no room for self-expression. Behave outside the norms of polite society and you are called hood, ghetto, ratchet, undesirable, uneducated, ignorant, worthless, violent, aggressive. That is, until polite society graciously decides that your "fringe behavior" is mainstream, and even then, it's still unacceptable for you to engage: Your blue hair is ratchet, but it is trendy on Katy Perry. You have a "ghetto booty," but Kim Kardashian's booty is the holy grail. Your speech pattern is "hood," but Reese Witherspoon's grammar mishaps are just a part of her southern charm. Your dark complexion is unacceptable if you were born with it, but totally acceptable if you tanned to get it. There are 10-minute beauty tutorials on how to achieve the perfect, messy, bed-head look like Karlie Kloss; but we are told to tame our nappy heads.

There are no proper nouns used to describe angry, white women; there are women who emote anger from time to time, and there are Angry Black Women who must own their occasional outbursts of anger as their whole identity. Young, Black boys in hoodies scare people, but a white boy in hooded sweatshirt (it's not a "hoodie" when he wears it) goes unnoticed. Black boys are taught how to speak to, look at, and respond to law enforcement in order to stay alive. They are taught how to dumb down their confident demeanor, so as to appear unassuming enough to not scare polite society. They are beaten into submission as boys by terrified parents who don't want them to experience the vicious beating that polite society delivers so well, but it doesn't matter.

None of it matters.

We do what we can to fit in, survive, and thrive as "minorities" in polite society, and even then it is not good enough. And God help those who care not to even try to placate polite society; they may as well put a target on their backs.

What do you do when you do all that you can for the comfort of polite society and polite society still spits in your face and calls you names and disregards your life?

Depending on who you are, you may get angry, you may resort to violence; or maybe you keep trying to fit in, or if you're really brave you try to change what are considered the norms of polite society, knowing that your efforts may or may not be vindicated in your lifetime. Maybe the confines of polite society are so far removed from the poverty, violence, and oppression that is your every day life that you can't even fathom being a part of it.

And maybe you just can't trust polite society because polite society doesn't trust you, but of course you are told that that relationship isn't supposed to be reciprocal.

I reflect on this duality and it brings me to tears. What is the effect on a young life that begins with crippled wings? What of the young one born with beautiful wings, only to have them clipped before ever having the opportunity to fly with them? What will become of that beautiful creature that no one will ever fully appreciate, because he's hidden his beautiful wings in order to fit in? And what do we do with the young one that's thrashing his wings with all of his might, but just can't escape the prison of his birdcage?

Polite society doesn't seek to understand, it only wants to be understood; and on a day to day basis, many of us have learned to be ok with that. But in times like these we have to make them understand in the best way that we know how and I stand in solidarity with those who are doing just that.

My prayers go out to the families that are burying their sons and daughters, and I pray that justice, understanding, progress and change will come about through these protest. The time is now; the time has always been right now.

Who will cry for the little, dark boy?

A cry for Mike Brown

One day I hope to bring into this world a little dark boy: dark skin, dark hair, dark eyes; a little chocolate thing that I can love and teach, discipline and play with, fight for and care for; a little dark boy who will one day become a full grown, dark man, with the same, beautiful dark skin, dark hair, and dark eyes.

A dark boy; dark like my daddy, and my uncles, and my grandfathers, and my male cousins, and my beautiful nephew, Marc Anthony.

I worry for my little, dark boy who is yet to be. What will the world see when they look upon his darkness? Will his dark skin intimidate them? Will his dark hair upset them? Will his dark eyes scare them?

Will the world appreciate my little dark boy? Will the world allow my full grown, dark man to live and thrive, without having to consider what others think of his dark skin, dark hair, and dark eyes?

Don't come at me with talk of the dark boys murdering other dark boys in Chicago. This is not about that. This is about understanding the value of human life. White boys kill other white boys too. But this is not about that.

Don't come at me with talk of looters: that does not change that another unarmed, dark boy has been shot by police officers. The looting happened after the killing, so any discussion about his death need not include a discussion about looters.

Don’t come at me with stories of Black folks killing white babies, asking me why I’m only outraged when a white person kills a Black person. In all of those cases that folks circulated during the time of Trayvon’s death, the Black murderer had been promptly arrested, tried and convicted. Not sheltered and excused. Additionally, this is a case of the establishment using undue deadly force and misusing its power in a systematic way. I care about all the dead and murdered children, no matter their or their murderer’s color, but this is not that.

This is about the dark boys, the brown boys, the mocha and vanilla latte-colored Black boys who are feared and misunderstood for no other reason than the color of their skin, the kink of their hair, or their choice of clothing. Boys who grow into men with a profound distrust of those who are supposed to serve and protect, because the law has never been and is still not on their side.

I listened to the tearful plea of a white mother in Ferguson saying: “We just want life to get back to normal.”- Well, lady, I’d venture to say that people are protesting so that things will not get back to normal. Your normal is safe, and thank God for your safe, normal life. But their normal is what’s the problem. It’s time out for normal, for status quo. We need an abnormal situation, because normal is just not going to cut it for 100 more years. There’s more than one way to lynch, and we cannot continue with the lynchings, perpetrated and protected by the establishment.

A personal thought about modesty and the heart

As I was contemplating what I should wear this morning, my mind went back to something that happened about 3 years ago. On that day I was shuffling through my closet looking for something cute to wear and my eyes landed on a cute designer dress that I'd purchased (at a huge markdown) a few months ago but had not yet worn. The dress was chocolate brown, sleeveless, form fitting, and shorter than what I'd normally wear, but I'd just purchased an amazing pair of brown, peep-toed, four-inch pumps and shoes that fabulous required such a dress as the one I was eyeing in my closet. 

Now, normally I have this thing about balance-- if the dress is short, it can't be worn with too high a heel; if it's strapless, then it can't be too form-fitting; if it's form-fitting, then it can't be too short, and so on and so forth. Mind you, my idea of short is longer than the mainstream idea of short, but it was still a daring choice for me, and on this day I decided to forego my "modesty benchmarks," if you will, and go with the riskier fashion choice.

So I put on my dress, my pumps, kept the hair and makeup simple and to a minimum (I didn't want to look like I was meeting Eliot Spitzer for "coffee"), and with a confident stride descended down the steps of my apartment complex, as "She's a Bad Mama-Jama" played softly in the distance... I kid, I kid, but seriously, I thought I was cute that day ;-)

As soon as I got to the bottom step I saw a family of three tossing a football in the parking lot. I'd never seen this family before (or since then); a man, his wife and their young son. They were obviously Muslim, as the wife was wearing full hijab.

As I headed to my car the man took one look at me and quickly averted his eyes, discretely diverting the attention of his young son as well. It wasn't a rude gesture, or obvious, or judgmental. I don't even believe that he wanted me to notice his reaction...

But I could tell that he had seen me and had immediately wanted to UN-see me, and I instantly felt ashamed; not because my attire was inherently inappropriate, but because I had put this religious man in an uncomfortable situation. I didn't care what he thought about me, but I cared that I made him uncomfortable, and was a bit mortified at the implication- that I was something to be avoided, a vice or temptation that one must shield his eyes from...

Although, I didn't share this man's Muslim faith and certainly not his views on modesty (I'm not about to be head-to-toe covered in the summertime), he served as a reminder of my own faith and standards concerning modesty. You see, I don't believe there's a universal standard for modesty. But I do believe that modesty is an expression of what is in one's heart and that the manifestations of what is in the heart should be outward, not just buried in the heart.

It's simply not good enough for me to say "God knows my heart" when it comes to how I present myself to the world around me, because what sense does it make for me to allow the truths of my HEART to be a mystery to man, then readily reveal the secrets of my BODY to all of mankind? Am I to be coy about the expression of my heart, but unabashed in the expression of my sexuality? Surely not. It's an oversimplification of who I am, which is not just body, but heart, mind, and soul... all of which have something to say, and should speak louder than my clothes.

So dress however you want, but as for me, I want people to recognize me for my heart, not just for something as superficial and fleeting as my looks or even my intellect because those things can fade away.

But the heart is enduring, and I'd rather not disguise my heart or silence it with a provocative exterior.

Just a thought...

A word concerning Rachel Jeantel and the court of Black opinion

In a perfect world, a beautiful, articulate, college-educated white woman, with a rich husband, razor-sharp hearing, a spotless credit record, and a saintly visage would have been the last person that Trayvon Martin spoke to on the phone... 

Unfortunately, this is not a perfect world, so all we have is a young Black girl who has been thrust into a national spotlight under the worst of circumstances.

As I listened to people clown this young lady over the past two days and talk down about her looks, speech and demeanor, it reminded me of just how imperfect our legal system is and how easy it is for us to become the very thing that we ourselves despise-

Our legal system tells us that there are certain types of people whose testimonies aren't worthy or reputable simply because they are not the perfect witness. Forget about the fact that an injustice has occurred against them. God forbid you're brutalized by police and you have a felony record; your testimony against those thugs in uniform is not worthy because you're a convict... And God forbid you happen to be a woman who likes to have sex with multiple partners and one of those men rapes you; you are now a less than perfect witness of the crime against your body, because of your past. Here you are, a victim, but because of factors unrelated to the crime, you are shamed and discredited in court.

And now we get to Rachel Jeantel, who has done nothing wrong, but we- the oh so mighty court of Black opinion- have scorned her for being a less-than-perfect witness, not because she's a criminal or deviant, but because she doesn't speak and act the way we think she should act. I'm sorry she did not pass your test of acceptability for valid witness testimony, but we live in an imperfect world with an imperfect U.S. Justice system in which there are imperfect witnesses.

And this is where we, the "formal speaking, perfectly poised" collective of the Black Community embody the injustice of our legal system that we so readily speak out against. If you're out there shaming young Rachel, then you are no better that the legal system that shames the rape victim for not being the blessed Virgin Mary. Don't put on your Black hoodie in solidarity with Trayvon Martin and then do the very thing that you accuse George Zimmerman of- profiling a victim.

As a witness, she may not be what you want, but she is what you've got... or, what you "have," I should say (lest someone decide to discredit this post due to it's grammatical errors). And if you are for the cause of Trayvon, then be for it; it was an imperfect situation to begin with so don't expect perfection now.

So, show a little empathy folks and get over your unfounded elitism. Every person on this earth is important, and everyone's voice should matter, whether you like or agree with the sound of that voice or not.

Why the "He did it too" Argument is Not an Acceptable Justification for Wrong-Doing

Remember when you were a child and you'd get into trouble and you'd defend yourself by saying "He was doing it too..." ? "He" may have been a sibling, classmate, friend, or just any old random person who'd done the same thing and gotten away with it. Do you remember how the "He did it too" argument NEVER worked? Well, I do. You probably even got the notorious "If he jumped off a bridge, would you do that too?" reply, often used by authority figures as a response to a child's "He did it too" protestation.

I learned as a child that just because someone else does something wrong, that does not mean that I can do it too, and it surely doesn't mean that my wrongdoing is justified by the fact that I'm not the only party partaking in the wrong.

However, as an adult, I am mystified by the sheer number of grown, intelligent, and powerful people who are still using the "He did it too!" argument. Racists use this argument to justify their use of the N word (Black people use it too!). Political Parties use it to justify why they're not addressing the needs of their constituents (Democrats don't care about you either!). Presidents use it to justify questionable policies (my predecessor did it too!). Sports figures use it to justify poor sportsmanship (Serena lashes out too!), and so on and so on.

I don't know how these people went through their whole lives without someone setting them straight, but "He did it too" is a juvenile and unacceptable argument that I cannot take seriously from anyone over the age of 8. Using someone else's actions to justify your own almost never works. One can not simply set a precedent for wrong doing by which the rest of the world can justify their own wrong. Life doesn't work that way. You are judged by your own actions, inaction, and screw ups. Continuing to lay the burden of responsibility on a random third party does not serve anyone well and certainly doesn't solve or justify the underlying problem.

So I'd like to say to the grown-behind, decades-old, adult people who are still using the "He did it too argument": stop responding to life like third graders and start taking responsibility for yourself, your words and your actions.

And to the third-graders out there who already understand and live by the concept of personal responsibility, I meant no offense...

"EARN ME"- What I think of Olivia Pope's Declaration

People don't work to earn a thing if they can't see the value in it... 

Some people just don't have an eye for quality; they put all of their time and effort into fool's gold. Others go looking for genuine gold, but go to places where gold cannot form and spend a lifetime asking questions like, "Why can't I find any gold in this concrete?"

Others are just too lazy to work for the finer things in life, so if you're not handing out gold nuggets on the street corner, they are simply not interested. And then there are those who recognize that some things have the appearance of quality (like gold plated jewelry), but are not quality through and through and are, therefore, not worth as much trouble to obtain...

But why would anyone put any effort into the gold anyway? What value does it hold?

Well, it is valued for its beauty and its unique characteristics. It is strong; it does not rust, tarnish, or corrode but maintains its luster over time. Even ancient items forged from gold still exist today because gold has staying power and is durable. Gold is rare; and while there are many imitations, only the real thing has these valuable qualities.

Are you catching my meaning?

I know what you’re thinking: “The price of gold changes all the time so how valuable is it really?” While that may be true, price fluctuations due to demand or popularity do not change the rarity, beauty, and durability of gold. Whether we want it right now, or see the value in it now, gold is still gold and will outlast a multitude of cheaper trends. 

So. If you are a gold nugget, then yes, he will work to earn you. But if you’re wearing a visage of gold, then ask yourself how much you’d work to earn what you’re offering; and if you've put yourself in places not worthy of your value, know that you can not be earned because you can not be found, because you are out of place. 

If you are truly golden, you will endure and you will shine.

May we all recognize our worth, and put our feet to the fire to expel the impurities that dilute our quality; and may we recognize those who’ll pay big money upfront for the privilege of having gold, only to cast it aside once it’s obtained… 

Thanks for the reminder, Ms. Pope.

Concerning the relevancy of Black History Month

When Will We No Longer Need a Black History Month???

Well,

1) When people stop acting like Black and White history existed in two separate dimensions of time that happened to merge in the 50s

2) When American history books start having more than 3 chapters about Black people (the one about how we got here, the one about how we got free, and the one about how we got rights)

3) When people sto...p saying that racism does not exists because ONE powerful Black man does exist

4) When people stop being offended by the concept of Black History Month... and stop saying things like "Why don't we have a white history month?” (the answer to that profound question being that we are already smothered by the overwhelming whiteness of history, but kudos on being such a deep thinker for coming up with that question…)

5) When people stop saying "just get over" slavery and realize that there are living people who are not that far removed from and still affected by slavery, so “get over it” is easier said than done (by the way- the woman formerly known as the world's oldest Black woman, Louisiana Hines, just died on Friday; she was born in 1899 and her grandfather was a slave)

6) When we no longer have unprosecuted murderers enjoying a life of retirement instead of rotting in jail for civil rights era crimes (you are never too old to pay the price for castrating and lynching someone)

7) When the concept of racial superiority no longer exists (you'd be surprised that it exists at the level that it does now)

8) When there are no longer any 1st black _________

9) When a black president doesn't have to consider the extent to which he can engage black groups and issues so that other ethnic groups don't feel threatened (By the way, I am disappointed, Mr. President...)

10) When Black History is more than just MLK and Rosa Parks for our nation's children

11) When the summation of Martin Luther King's legacy is no longer defined by a very small segment of a 17-minute long speech... or by the name of a shady street in the worst part of town...

12) When people acknowledge the contributions of Black Americans and all other Americans outside the confines of one month

13) When people no longer think that HBCUs are inherently racist.... because these schools NEVER WOULD HAVE EXISTED, had Blacks been allowed to attend our nations universities (and you cannot expect these institutions to close their doors because other schools want us now)

Feel free to add to or disagree with my list...

Today's Musing: Learning from the Best

People always want to learn from those who are at the top of their game. They ask their friend with the voice of an angel to teach them how to sing, they ask their friend who played college basketball to teach them how to ball, they ask the super-fit guy in the gym to workout with them, they ask the high-achiever in their class to be in their study group, they ask the gifted write...r to help them with their college essay.

But here's what often happens next: they find out that the singer practices 12 hours per week, and the basketball star is on the court at 5am, and the super-fit guy trains HARD every day, and the high achiever is studying when everyone else is partying, and the gifted writer hasn't watched TV in months but reads profusely and writes prolifically...

What they find out is that those at the top of their game work extremely hard to stay there, and if they expect to be apprenticed by them they must do the same. But that's hard to do, so many, many fall away because it's easy to say, "I can do what they can do" without understanding the totality of their sacrifice. You must understand and respect their sacrifice and be willing to go as hardcore as they, because it's not a game to them, it's a lifestyle.

So, if you're about a quick and easy return, don't waste your time going to a pro, because they will recognize your b.s. and be offended that you take so lightly what they hold most dear.

Randomness: Today's gym-inspired musings

1) Zumba people are hilarious- with their Cherokee Indian war cries, and their paraphernalia, and their well coordinated Zumba-wear, these folks are really hard core about some Zumba; so hard core that after every class they have to discuss how great Zumba is for 10 extra minutes, delaying all other classes without fail. 
 I get it- Zumba makes you feel like you're in... a hip-hop video and that excites you, but I don't appreciate how ya'll cut short my Yoga class every week. Please take your hype to another room...

2) Speaking of Yoga, shame on me for giving my 70 year-old Yoga instructor the side-eye the first time I took her class, because that lady has me feeling like I've been hit by a linebacker after every class... I swear she was secretly laughing at my struggle today, but as far as I'm concerned she get's mad respect all day long. NEVER judge a book by its old, weathered cover...

3) Another thing... who works out in lace? Isn't that taking "breathable fabrics" to whole other level? Maybe it's that hot-body trainer she's paying $180 for (on top of $60 monthly fees) that has this woman laced-out like Victoria's Secret up in this gym, but I guess I shouldn't judge- if Serena Williams can play tennis in lace then this lady can work out in lace too, right? Besides, if I was paying $180 for that same hot-body trainer, I'd probably be showing up in that black cat suit Serena Williams' wore at the 2002 U.S. Open...

4) Final thought- We are getting closer and closer to that time of year when the New Years Resolution people start dropping out of the gym, freeing up the machines and "keeping the fees low" (as the gym rats are so fond of saying) for the people who work out all year long. To my Resolutioners- do not let the meatheads and gym rats clown you. Keep at your goals and get your money's worth. Your body will thank you and you can thumb your nose at those folks who were actively or inadvertently anticipating your failure.

 

Get (and stay) fit in 2013!

A Quick Word: Tighten Up in 2013

If you're an able-bodied adult blaming all of your problems on someone else- your parents, your spouse, your boss, the President, the people who didn't love you enough, the people who weren't there for you, the folks who never gave you a chance, the loved ones who died too early- then it's time for you to tighten up. Make 2013 the year of personal accountability. Stop talking about what others did and did not do for you, and how they weren't there for you. Those people don't owe you anything; God doesn't owe you anything; the universe doesn't owe you anything, but you sure do owe it to yourself to get out of that rut you're in.

Today's Professional Tip

Write and perfect your professional biography. Make changes to your bio as you add to your credentials so that your bio is always ready at a moment's notice. If you have a full page bio, create a shortform version that is no longer than one paragraph so that requestors of that document are not left to determine which information should be deleted in the event that space ...is limited. Do not hesistate to ask whether a long or short bio is preferred.

If you are called to speak at a conference or conduct a workshop or engage in any other way that requires the submission of a bio, DO NOT send a resume or bullet points. It is not the duty of the event organizer to create a bio for you. Do this yourself and you can always ensure a quality representation of who you are and of your most noteworthy accomplishments.

Django Unchained Movie Review

So… I saw Django Unchained and I have to say, I enjoyed it immensely. Although Jamie Foxx's speech pattern was super inconsistent, Leonardo DiCaprio was genius, reminding me of why I love him in everything, as was Samuel L. Jackson. Sam was the perfect, self-loathing Uncle Tom- I swear I've run into the non-caricatured version of this same personality in my everyday... life (haven't we all). The score for the movie was awesome, but I always love Tarantino's soundtracks. He knows how to connect his audience with the emotion of the moment (what would “Kill Bill” be without those psychedelic fight scenes?) and he did that from start to finish.

I must say that the “n” word was used pretty liberally, but who can take such a period piece seriously without it? I haven’t seen “Lincoln,” but I’m guessing they probably don’t say the “n” word nearly enough in that movie to be anywhere near historically accurate, but who’s counting and who’s really expecting the solemn execution of a Tarantino film? I do understand how some people would take offense to the trivialization of the black American holocaust, but I think Tarantino was trying to create an entertaining movie about a fictional hero who did what we all secretly wished Kunta Kinte would have done- got on a horse and shot his way through as many slavemaster’s and oversees as necessary until found Kizzy.

By the way, the man I sat next to in the theater said he’d been watching the “Roots” miniseries all week long to prepare for this movie, but he’d have been just as prepared had he watched a combination of “Boyz in the Hood,” “Blazing Saddles,” and any Richard Pryor live comedy recording….

I know many folks will watch this movie and either love or hate it, but I loved it. And while Tarantino will face his usual criticism (Inglourious Basterds anyone?), I’m just glad that Tyler Perry is not making historical fiction, because "Madea Unchained" would have been the death of me.

Where are all the male teachers?

I am not one of those "the men are here to save the day" type of women, but when I think about the 6 women who died at Sandy Hook Elementary School it brings to mind the dearth of male educators, especially at the primary level. How many men were employed at Sandy Hook as teachers? If the staff mirrors national averages then that number is about 18%. I won't insult the brave women who lost their ...lives by postulating a scenario involving a greater number of men (because who among us can go toe to toe with an assault rifle), but as a separate issue, I do think more of an effort needs to be made to get men in the classroom. It is a complex problem needing a multi-faceted solution, but it certainly won't happen as long as teachers continue to make paltry salaries. I personally know more than a few men who were educators but changed professions after a couple of years because of the salary, even though they loved their jobs and even now, still miss teaching. I don't have any solutions here, but I do see a worrying trend in which our educators are receiving the short end of the stick when the budget talks take place. For a profession that is increasingly involved (because our educators are not only teaching, but also half-raising, all but paying the rent for some kids) and increasingly dangerous, we really must really start to rethink and reprioritize our children's education and safety.

The Newton Shooting: Why a debate on school prayer is not appropriate right now

It sounds trite to say "God wasn't there during the Connecticut shooting because we took prayer out of schools." Can't we just take a moment to grieve the loss without inserting our meaningless idealogues into everything? This sentiment is self-serving and lacking in empathy to those who are dealing with an intense loss right now.

Keep this in mind: America is a place of religious freedom, so kno...w that if you are putting prayer back in schools you are not only inserting the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, but also satanic gods, voodoo gods, hindu gods, sun gods and moon gods, gods of the occult, wiccan gods and goddesses, and so on and so forth. If we lived in a theocracy we could put prayer back in schools and everyone would pray to one god and the spirit behind the Christian push to reinsert prayer back in schools would be realized. However, since we live in this great democracy, an invitation to bring prayer back into our schools is not tantamount to an invitation to bring God back into our schools. Some of us might actually be appalled at what we'd find in our schools should we bring prayer back into schools, because you'd better believe that sweet baby jesus in a manger would not be the only one to get that invite.

If you are worried about God being present in our schools then make sure that your sons and daughters have God in their hearts. God can no more exist in our churches than he can in in our schools if he does not reside in us. So in the meantime, get your own family, house, and heart in order and show a little empathy... and imagine how you'd feel if your child was murdered and someone said to you, rather flippantly, "Well, we shouldn't have taken prayer out of schools..."

Oh, you donated a million to a losing candidate?

I do not feel sorry for the disillusioned million dollar donors who are angry at Karl Rove and the Romney campaign over the lost election. This is what you asked for with the Citizens United ruling. Were you so blinded by the dollar potential that you neglected to consider that behind every big gain is the potential for a big loss? Remember the old saying, "The bigger they are, the harder they fal...l"? Well, you asked for bigger and I bet that fall hit you pretty hard. From what I've read, Karl Rove's superpacs spent over $300 million on Republican candidates with a 1% return for American Crossroads and a 14% return for Crossroads GPS. I'm no stock broker but those numbers don't sound good, and when you're essentially betting millions on a two-horse race you either have to win big or you go home.

“Nigger” and Post-Racial America

I am intrigued by the use of the word "nigger" by young people who scarcely have a connection to a word so old and ugly. I’d like to know from where does a 16 year old or even a 20 year old pull this type of vitriol? Really, I am struggling with the concept of how a person... born in the 90's finds themselves uttering such an old, nasty term. It perplexes me how the same young people who are so detached from history that they can scarcely understand the magnitude of the Jewish Holocaust have somehow managed to find relevance and a renewed vigor for “nigger.”

Now, before you jump to the hip hop connection, let me clarify that I'm not talking about the profusion of the word "nigga" in hip hop music, as reckless and destructive as it may be, because this is different. I am talking about the hateful and targeted use of “nigger” as an epithet. These kids have managed to not only yank this word into present day discourse, but also to pull the historically insidious and hateful spirit behind the word into 2012.

Concerning post-racial America: anyone bold enough to come in my face and say that America is post-racial will be eating my stiletto (<-a dramatization, of course), because we are not post racial; we are present-racial and in deep denial about it. And for young people to so embrace the spirit of "nigger," well, that just confirms for me that the race factor never went anywhere. Racism has yet to have its yesterday; it is still our today, and my heart breaks over it, as I know the heart of many Americans- black, white, and so on- aches over the same.

So quit telling me to stop acknowledging the dreadful past of my black ancestors—no wait, not my ancestors, but my living breathing relatives who LIVED through that dreadful past—if you will not let the hate of the past die.

God bless America, God help America, God heal America- that is my prayer. Amen

A Brief Word Concerning "Chicken Little" Christians

If you're a Christian declaring the end of the world due to the outcome of the Presidential election you should stop looking to the hills and remember your source. I don't know about you, but I'm covered so I'm not any more worried about the Obamapocalypse than I am about the Mayan doomsday prophecy. God is always in charge and will use who He will; our approval of neither the plan nor the man is required. We must continue to pray for our leaders and the direction of this country, no matter who is in charge.

Today's Professional Tip: Lead with the Important Information

Today's Professional Tip: Lead with the Important Information

When you engage a colleague or superior, do not begin with random outliers and abstract plot detail; busy people do not have time for you to eventually work your way around to your point and they cannot read your mind to anticipate your destination. Additionally, a quick thinker will begin to formulate responses and decisions based on ...the initial information provided so definitely do not end your point with a "gamechanger," or an important piece of information that would have changed the outcome of the decision or response, had you lead with it. This can be extremely frustrating and depending on whom you're talking to, you may just find yourself out of time or out of luck.

Lead with the important information.

Random Musing: Candidates and rolled-up sleeves

Random musing:

I think it's funny how candidates go out on the campaign trail in the same attire: button-down shirt (no tie) with top button undone and sleeves rolled up to the elbows. I know it's supposed to be the "I am every man" look, but I don't think this is a common look for the average man (I think the average man just puts on a short-sleeved shirt). Maybe this look is just the typical "w...orking politician" look; the look that says, "I am one quick-change away from being "suited up," but I can get down and dirty with the best of them." I don't know...

However, I am reminded of a time when I was being interviewed for a job by a pompous business owner who made a great show of shaking himself like a pitbull as he held his arms out high and wide and, with great fanfare, rolled up his sleeves and said "Now, let's get down to business," and all the while, I'm thinking, "The business of what? Washing dishes or digging a ditch?" Because anything else should not require a wardrobe adjustment...

If you're curious, that interview did not go very well. I think both of us thought the other was full of it- I, for refusing to work for free for a two week "trial period" (gtfoh); and he, for having the audacity to make that ridiculous request and then telling me that no one would be willing to pay me the salary I desired without "trying me out" first. The interview ended with me saying some variation of "you need to learn how a legitimate vetting and hiring process works" and him saying "we'll get back to you" (he didn't)...

So goes my memorable experience with the hard-working, every-man with the rolled-up sleeves... unfortunately, he's not the only man with rolled-up sleeves that's handing out a load of b.s.

On this September 11

On this September 11 remember this:

 

There is no such this as a "real America" or "authentic Amerca" or "more deserving Americans." There's only America- a nation of Christians, Muslims, Jews, Buddhists, Blacks, Whites, Rich Folks, Poor Folks, Middleclass Folks, Hispanics, Asians, Africans, City Folk, Coutry Folk, Mountain Dwellers, Mermaids, Republicans, Democrats, Independents, Libertarians, and ...the list goes on and on. Not a single one of these groups has more or less of a right to live and work and play in this country.

Our history is filled with bright chapters that make us rejoice together in pride, as well as dark chapters that make us all hang our head in shame. You can rest assure that the chapters to come will be filled with more pride and shame, but as long as we acknowledge and own that shame and learn to be better Americans from it then we can continue to hold our heads high. Remember to respect your fellow Americans, no matter what they look like or what they believe.

For the folks who have fought and have died for our pride, our shame, and our freedom: As a proud American, I will forever salute you. You didn't die or put yourself in harm's way for me to make arbitray distinctions between Americans, you died and fought for one America and I honor your sacrifice.

To the innocent who lost their lives and loved ones during the September 11th tragedy, you will never be forgotten.

-From a proud American