An Apologetic Concerning Apologies and Leadership

I believe we are becoming a society incapable of an apology. I am daily accosted with excuses masquerading as apologies. Contrary to popular belief, an apology does not necessarily involve the words "I'm sorry." You can say "I'm sorry" 20 times and still fail to deliver an actual apology. Webster's tells us that an apology involves an admission of error accompanied by an expression of regret. If you haven't admitted error, you have not apologized. If you haven't expressed regret for your deed, you have not apologized.

There's also the curious case of the "Non-Apology-Apology"- this occurs when you express remorse and admit error, just not for your own actions: "I'm sorry if YOU felt like my actions MAY have affected you…” A curious thing that is, apologizing for someone else’s feelings. You, of course did nothing wrong. THEY only felt like you did something wrong. I guess when you put it that way, THEY should actually apologize to you for THEIR biased emotionalism, right?

Here’s another one- doing something offensive, saying "I'm sorry," and then continuing the offensive act as if nothing ever happened is not an apology. If you are truly sorry, then you must stop the foolishness entirely... don't continue in error and arbitrarily toss an "I'm sorry" to the universe...

And this brings us to the topic of leadership- I am particularly concerned about the fate of the apology concerning those in leadership. Somewhere along the way we started believing that to apologize was to demonstrate weakness. Now we have a nation of leader's who won't admit wrong doing without proffering weak justifications or self- righteous excuses, and a nation full of followers who scorn those who actually do admit to folly as pathetic and somehow shameful to their offices.

Let me tell you, leaders who refuse to admit when they are wrong really scare me. Folks like that are liable to lead you straight off the side of a cliff without a rope or a hand to hold on to. There's a popular adage that says "If you don't stand for something you'll fall for anything." Well, I'd like to amend that to say, "If you don't stand for some things, can you stand for anything at all?" In other words, how do I trust your judgment and objectivity about anything concerning my livelihood if you can't objectively evaluate your own judgment concerning your livelihood as a leader and admit wrongdoing?

I want leaders everywhere to stand up for truth and justice, even if it means admitting they aren't the omniscient and omnipotent individuals they purport or are perceived to be. I want a return to “I’m sorry,” and “I was wrong,” and “It was my fault,” and “Yeah, I screwed up, big time.”

Apologies are difficult; no one denies that. It takes a strong person to step down from his or her pedestal for an “I’m sorry,” or to apologize with their head held high after being forcibly knocked from his or her pedestal- if that describes you, then you are worthy and ready to lead.

If not, then join the sheep; there's certainly a place there for you and your ignoble excuses.