In Honor of Father's Day: Daddy's Girl Smuggery

In honor of Father’s Day this weekend I’d like to take a moment to smugly extol the virtues of being a Daddy’s Girl; to put it more plainly, I’d like to talk about why I and other girls raised with loving, involved, no-nonsense male providers are so freaking awesome.

First things first, I understand that having an involved dad is not something that a daughter can choose so I don’t think any less of the young woman raised without a positive father figure. However, to say that having an involved father has no bearing on the type of women a daughter grows to be is to say that fathers really don’t matter and THAT is a false message that is constantly being perpetrated in the name of empowerment.

Now back to my point- Daddy’s Girls have the right to feel smug because we know what it means to be well taken care of. Ergo, we don’t have problems recognizing a man who is incapable of treating us in a manner of which we are worthy. And how do we know of what we are worthy? Well, we know because from birth we’ve received that message from our Daddies so our nature and nurture cannot be denied; and while that doesn’t mean we always make the right decisions concerning men, it does mean that we know what we’re doing and that the decision to accept less is a conscious one.

“I’m going to tell you now, just so you know- you both are beautiful girls; now that you know, you don’t have to lose your head when some man calls you pretty because you already know…”

—That is the type of wisdom that Daddies bestow on their girls at a young age and a direct quote from my Daddy to me and my sister. I can’t count the number of women I know who have spent decades searching for this type of validation in the form of love, affection, and sex from men. I am thankful that I’ve never needed that. Even when I didn’t think I was beautiful or special, I knew that I would not find what I needed from the attention of a man because, whether or not I believed that I was something, my Daddy’s message had been received and the foundation was laid for a strong sense of self worth.

Daddy’s Girls should feel smug because we know what it means to respect a man (yeah I said it, pow). There are certain things that you won’t ever see a true Daddy’s girl doing- you’re not going to see us berating or belittling a man in public (unless that’s what her mama was doing), and you’re not going to see us getting physically violent with a man, or just straight up neglecting him.

If having a strong male figure in the house teaches you anything, it will most certainly teach you the meaning of respect, and not just how to respect your mate, but how to respect authority, to respect others, and to respect yourself. Furthermore, because Daddy’s Girls understand respect and have experienced the real deal, we are able to identify illegitimate figures who demand respect without possessing the laurels upon which respect is required (and we avoid those jokers at all cost or engage them with caution). And while a mother can teach her daughters this just as well, there is something powerful about a man whom you respect and is able to teach you respect by being a real man worthy of nothing less.

Now to my young fathers, because I have a lot of young male friends with little girls- remember that how you treat your daughters lets them know how other men should treat them. Be kind to them, be there for them, provide for them, and protect them. Make sure your Daddies' Girls know what true love is, so if anyone tries to tell them differently, they’ll know better because of your nature, nurture, and influence.
And to those men who are married to or are dating a Daddy’s girl, know that you have a gem and should treat her well. Otherwise, she will leave you high and dry and go back to the man she knows will always have her best interest at heart... or her Daddy will come after you with a shotgun and a shovel...

Happy living, my friends, and a smug nod to all of the Daddy’s Girls out there... you know who you are ;-)